Time to Sparkle*
Part I: It's All A Matter Of Perspective
I had to do some deep and major digging the last couple of years. Transitions whacked me in the face a-plenty, and the best way I can describe the other side of all that turmoil, trauma and tumultuousness, is with one word:
Nothingness.
I have come to a point where I feel nothing - emptiness.
But, I feel, ya’ know?
It's just a feeling like nothing I have ever felt before.
We as a collective People (Jewish and non-Jewish together as One People) have become so accustomed to struggle, hardship, and tending to the negative of life that we forget that not only are we Born to Kvetch–to complain, to question, to speak up and all-together defy that which we hear and see in order to really claim our Truth; but that we are also Born to Soar: to exceed our expectations of life, to create our lives as beautifully as we can paint them, one brush stroke at a time.
We were born to feel good, plain and simple. This I truly know and believe.
I also believe in and EMBRACE the wonderful world of Wrestling with G-d/Life/The Universe. I was born under the auspicious time of the 3rd of Kislev, 5744, - the week of Parshas Vayetzei (good ol’ book of Genesis). As the story goes, Jacob (Yaacov) has a dream of angels ascending and descending a ladder that is rooted on earth and reaches the heavens at its apex…
Anyway, I have an innate need to Wrestle With G-d. I claim that sh*t.
I love my struggles. Now I also allow myself to claim dignity, to feel empowered, and I believe I have the right to live in the ultimate high of feeling Good.
The Wrestling has shaped me. The Inner Peace, the Stillness Within, is the byproduct of the tuss-and-tuggle, the wacky, topsy-turvy of a whirlwind of a cousin to the tug-and-tussle of Life.
I am grateful for my past.
Part II: Wisdom From An Angel
“You are of more value to me with all of your past struggles than someone who has had none at all.”
One of my angels said that the other day. This person’s words ring in my ears constantly now.
Whether you believe in angels or not, I do; and however you term these “life-markers” that the Universe sends to validate our journeys – say, in a message on a billboard, in a stranger’s comment, via a particular way lighting hits your kitchenware -, I nudge you to GIVE THANKS. I challenge you to be open to the Wisdom of Angels as it grounds us in our human-ness and also elevates us to be brighter, shinier, better-versions-of-ourselves, kind of people. It allows us to trust, to Not Worry and Keep Going.
As a Queer, Jewish, Woman of Color, the ironic thing is that my labels – diverse and full of Otherness as they are – have not been my biggest life-barriers thus far. My SELF has. When I decided to forgive everyone, myself and all past experience, my old self moved aside, and the new, better version of my Self emgerged:
Shiny. Perfect (with a lil’ bit of the roughness on the edges for effect). Whole.
My message then is this: TAKE OFF THE MANACLES KEEPING YOU STUCK! PUT YOUR PAST IN A VAULT, LOCK IT AWAY, THROW THE KEY INTO THE OCEAN AND NEVER AGAIN LOOK BACK! BE FREE!
You have the right to hit the reset button on your life, to re-emerge anew. Own those past struggles, but don’t allow them to anchor you down so much you forget your wings. Claim GOOD in your life. Life’s a blessing. BE a blessing.
Ready, set… It’s Time to Sparkle!
