In 2023, future rabbi Hadasah Yaqob-Johnson made the cliff dive into a new life. In a single year, she moved across the country, started rabbinical school, and gave birth to her third child. From the outside, it looked to her friends like she was some kind of “superwoman,” an expert at seamlessly balancing career and education with family. From the inside, it was another story. 

After giving a workshop to her class at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College recently, I had the chance to talk to Hadasah about the life lessons she's learned, both in motherhood and in the rabbinate.

In rabbinical student fashion, Hadasah often uses grand, sweeping metaphors for the Divine. The traditional Hebrew liturgy translates many supplications to “our Father,” but Hadasah says there is a distinctly maternal aspect to the Divine that has been overlooked. “Motherhood assumes a nurturing approach that isn’t there for how society understands fatherhood,” she said.

The metaphor of G-d as a mother “giving birth” to the Jewish people really resonates with Yaqob-Johnson. “When the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt and cried out, it was like labor pains. Each of the ten plagues was like the centimeters of dilation of the birth canal. The waters of the Red Sea broke and the birth of a baby nation that pushed out of Egypt was delivered on the other side…The mother is the one that provides milk and comfort—there’s a certain type of bonding and trust.” The motherhood metaphor can be extended further in the story of the Sukkot holiday,  she said, when the Israelites were an infant people in the wilderness, eating manna directly from G-d’s “hand.”

Like many emerging thought leaders, Yaqob-Johnson revels in the esoteric. “In the Torah, there is an obligation to respect and to love Hashem. It can be read as if in the imperfect tense where the action is still in process." Through the lens of motherhood, she points to the episodes of the golden calf and the daughters of Zelophehad as prime examples of mutual evolution. In both of these situations, boundaries were tested. Conflict and mitigated punishments were the results in the case of the golden calf, whereas in the case of Zelophehad’s daughters, the rules were revised. 

Nothing has put its stamp on Yaqob-Johnson’s identity the way motherhood has. “My kids have changed me so much that I don’t even know [if] I would recognize the person that I was before having kids," she said. "I’m happy to change mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The struggles that we go through are meant to improve us.” She sees motherhood as a spiritual calling that ultimately requires divine providence to be materialized.

As she embarks on her journey to the rabbinate, she wants to trust the sacred path as it unfolds. “I got the notice that I was accepted into rabbinical school on Juneteenth of 2022. It was a sign; I always look for signs everywhere.” Juneteenth has special meaning to her as an African-American Jew from Texas.

Not long after getting this good news, Yaqob-Johnson experienced a devastating setback: an unexpected pregnancy was found to be ectopic. What followed was a painful surgery, emotional heartache, and a deep sense of loss for both Yaqob-Johnson and her husband. “Sometimes on the outside looking in, some people think that I have it all together, but people don’t see behind-the-scenes of what happened to get me here.”

Through courage, faith, and a little anxiety medication, Yaqob-Johnson moved forward. She and her husband relocated their family all the way from sunny Texas to snowy Pennsylvania for rabbinical school, as her body was still healing from the surgery. “Having to cope with the reality of this situation has made me more tender to other women who have had to go through this—wanting the baby, but having to accept that the time wasn’t right,” she said. The struggle of selling their house and finding a new home in a frigid climate, all while caring for two demanding preschoolers, made for a stormy season. 

As she sees it, it was by divine intervention that Yaqob-Johnson walked into her first day of rabbinical school, pregnant again with what is now her third child. “I heard ‘Lech Lecha.' if this is the right path, Hashem, make it happen!” 

In her view, anyone can have a spiritual calling. It’s the commitment to the journey and true acceptance of the ramifications that set apart those who can answer that call. “Deciding to go to rabbinical school was the easy part—it’s the follow-through that’s hard. It’s about listening to the call and not being deterred when things don’t go the way that I want them to go,” she said.

Rightly or wrongly, some see the state of Jewish motherhood in the rabbinate as a weathervane for the status of women in Jewish communities. Motherhood is, for many, a hallmark of the feminine experience, with unique vulnerabilities and daily demands. “A mother is the ‘invisible hand’ that makes sure things get done the way they need to get done. Whereas the title of rabbi is specifically looked to for guidance,” she said. Yaqob-Johnson sees a higher level of visibility and gravity afforded women in the rabbi role that doesn’t carry over into their lives as Jewish mothers.

Yaqob-Johnson thinks congregational rabbis must operate in concert with their boards and take cues from community members on decisions. When there are several options for where to pray, congregational rabbis are in the business of customer service. "One of the main requirements is for the congregational rabbi is to make the synagogue a place where current congregants want to continue to be," she said. 

As a future rabbi, Yaqob-Johnson encourages other Jewish moms to look for inspiration in the Torah. "For instance, if we want to have more patience with our children, the Tanakh speaks about how Hashem is slow to anger. We can use that as a model to have more understanding. Or [we can] read [the biblical love poem] Song of Songs for inspiration on how to better connect with our spouse,” she said.

In her view, the Jewish tradition has relevant wisdom for the entire gamut of life experience, and there are many ways to add spiritual energy to the ordinary aspects of motherhood. “Turn cooking food into a religious experience by listening to a religious podcast. Think of how your food is sustaining your family. Let your kids know that we’re cleaning up today, not just because there is a mess—we’re also preparing for the Sabbath Queen and inviting the Shabbat Angels.” 

For more of Hadasah Yaqob-Johnson’s thoughts on motherhood and the divine, check out her Substack.