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Toby Reifman

b. 1943

Toby Fishbein Reifman was born in 1943 and grew up in Providence, Rhode Island.  She attended Barnard College, graduated in 1965, and then went to Brandeis for her master's degree in Near Eastern and Judaic Studies.  After receiving a degree in social work, she became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.  She became involved in the feminist movement and eventually joined Ezrat Nashim, a movement focused on rectifying inequalities for Jewish women.  She lives and works in Teaneck, New Jersey.

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Scope and Content Note

Toby talks about her childhood in Providence, Rhode Island, where she grew up as a second-generation immigrant in a moderately observant family.  She describes her awareness of gender as a child when she envisioned certain restrictions for her life based on her womanhood.  Toby tells an anecdote about changing gender dynamics at Camp Ramah when girls wanted to read the haftarah but weren't allowed to make blessings.  This was a turning point for Toby's awareness of gender inequalities in Judaism.  She met her husband in 1971.  They struggled to negotiate the level of observance in their household after getting married.  In the early '70s, she began attending Jewish feminist conferences, where she was inspired by hearing women read the Torah for the first time.  She describes getting involved with Ezrat Nashim, a Jewish women’s movement, and speaking to Conservative and Orthodox groups about Jewish women’s issues, where she occasionally encountered hostility.  Toby talks about her current involvement in a Conservative synagogue in New Jersey and the meaningful experience of reading Torah regularly.  While her husband doesn't regularly attend the same shul, he still supports her involvement.  She then talks about raising children with involvement in Modern Orthodox and more egalitarian communities.  Her oldest son became more observant and right-wing after a trip to Israel, but Toby describes feeling proud that he has maintained his feminist values within that context.  Finally, she reflects on her growing commitment to feminism across her lifetime, as she realized that she needed more than just marriage for personal fulfillment. 

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How to cite this page

Oral History of Toby Reifman. Interviewed by Judith Rosenbaum. 30 October 2005. Jewish Women's Archive. (Viewed on December 10, 2024) <https://jwa.org/oralhistories/reifman-toby>.

Oral History of Toby Reifman by the Jewish Women's Archive is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://jwa.org/contact/OralHistory.