Is Your Crush Ghosting You or Do They Just Observe Shabbat?

Image of a woman anxious about being ghosted. (Taken at the JWA Office)

Let’s say it’s Saturday evening, and it feels like your crush hasn’t talked to you in days. You’ve texted them five times with no response. Are you being ghosted? Or are they just resting for the Sabbath? We’ve created this helpful checklist to help you find out.

Are they acutely aware of when sundown is?

Last week when your crush insisted on walking you home before dark (was that cute or patriarchal?) they knew exactly when the sun would set. If they have a keen sense of when it’s going to get dark, your crush has either cursed by an evil witch to turn into an ogre every night at dusk, or is just familiar with when the Sabbath begins each week.

Did you find pictures of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah when you stalked them on Facebook?

Your crush is proud of their heritage, what a catch! And if they’re proud of their heritage, they probably observe the Sabbath. Lots of Jews do!

Do they own their own Shabbat candleholders?

Because let’s be real, your crush doesn’t exactly seem like a decorative candle person, do they? Those candle holders weren’t for show; they were for Shabbat. Because if they were just decorative, that means your crush is ghosting you, and they wouldn’t do that, right?

Has your crush posted to social media since Friday night?

It seems like a given that they wouldn’t post without texting you back, but you should at least check. If they have posted, don’t worry, they probably have their phone set to auto-post at optimal times. I mean they wouldn’t just ignore you, right?

Do they order vegetarian at restaurants?

Your crush wants to make sure their food is kosher without making a big thing of it. It’s not that they’re a vegetarian, it’s just that they want to be sure not to mix milk and meat. Just like it’s not that your crush is ghosting you, they just can’t check their phone until after they make Havdallah obviously.

Did they tell you they had plans Friday night?

Because by “plans” they meant “shul.” They weren’t just blowing you off. I mean they were but it was so they could pursue their relationship with God. They’re not off hanging out with other girls. They’re hanging with God. I’m sure of it.

Listen, I seriously doubt your crush is ghosting you. They probably just forgot to tell you they couldn’t text, or return your calls, or hear it when you rang their doorbell, during Shabbat. I’m sure as soon as the sun set they were aghast over forgetting to give you a heads up. Don’t worry! Shabbat will be over soon. Maybe you should give them a call the second the sun sets just in case? Actually, strike that. They probably forgot to plug in their phone over the Sabbath. I’m sure your crush will get back to you soon.

Topics: Comedy, Writing
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I think by Monday, it's time to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt. :)

How to cite this page

Sara Lebow. "Is Your Crush Ghosting You or Do They Just Observe Shabbat?." 18 July 2017. Jewish Women's Archive. (Viewed on September 24, 2023) <>.

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