“That’s not okay,” I said. “You can’t say that, or anything like that, again.”
While I agree that the comment that provoked this response was rude, the response isn’t appropriate either. It’s important that we be wary of censorship because the thoughts/feelings of other people, even if you disagree with them, are no less valid than your own thoughts and feelings. People won’t stop thinking or feeling a certain way if you tell them their thoughts are “not OK”. Rather, they will likely continue to feel that way and just not tell *YOU* what they’re thinking. It shuts down open lines of communication that could actually *change* the feelings of other people if you don’t let people feel comfortable to say what’s on their mind because then there’s no discussion about why their line of thinking may be flawed. In the situation described, I would probably try a response (in a neutral tone of voice without sarcasm) like “what makes you think we shouldn’t have women in STEM? I think Marie Curie or <insert name(s) of female Nobel laureates in STEM> would disagree with you.” ;-)
Wishing you good luck and good health.
“That’s not okay,” I said. “You can’t say that, or anything like that, again.”
While I agree that the comment that provoked this response was rude, the response isn’t appropriate either. It’s important that we be wary of censorship because the thoughts/feelings of other people, even if you disagree with them, are no less valid than your own thoughts and feelings. People won’t stop thinking or feeling a certain way if you tell them their thoughts are “not OK”. Rather, they will likely continue to feel that way and just not tell *YOU* what they’re thinking. It shuts down open lines of communication that could actually *change* the feelings of other people if you don’t let people feel comfortable to say what’s on their mind because then there’s no discussion about why their line of thinking may be flawed. In the situation described, I would probably try a response (in a neutral tone of voice without sarcasm) like “what makes you think we shouldn’t have women in STEM? I think Marie Curie or <insert name(s) of female Nobel laureates in STEM> would disagree with you.” ;-)
Wishing you good luck and good health.