Exhibit: Women Who Dared
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SHALVA (Safe Homes Advice and Legal Aid for Victims of Abuse)
Domestic Violence Advocates

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What Else She Said

One of the things that prompted me to be interested in this was that one of my neighbors was the wife of a well-known doctor, a Jewish orthodox woman, whose children were going to the school where I was teaching, and still am teaching in. One day I saw them outside during a big snowstorm and he was abusing her in the street. I looked out the window and I couldn't believe it. At first I thought she fell and he's trying to help her and then when I saw it, I couldn't believe it. That's what got us to think about the idea. The other girl who was working with me, she was an across the street neighbor of mine. Together, first we were reaching out to help this woman. Then we realized this woman did not want help. She wanted to keep her confidentiality, not be bothered with anyone knowing anything. Then we realized the problem was not just helping this woman, finding solutions for her, which she wasn't even interested in, but learning more about it, finding out why women reject help initially. The fact that it happened amongst us [in the orthodox community] was a big shocking realization. Thatís what got me interested and involved."
- Tamar Friedman

"I got involved in Daughters of Israel when I first moved here because I didn't know anyone in the religious community. I worked in a hospital; I'm a medical technologist by my first degree. I didnít know anyone. My husband said get involved in some groups and a woman called and said I'll take you to Daughters of Israel, which dealt with Jewish family as a whole. It generally entailed young marrieds, as opposed to the older women. I got involved in that. All of us were in charge of different parts or all of the organization at one point.

This [domestic abuse issue] fell in our laps, literally... we felt a tremendous guilt walking out of [that first meeting]. We knew we had the capacity but didnít know what to do. It's to our credit that we did this self-education. I remember numerous meetings just educating ourselves. We didn't move forward until we learned what the steps were. All of us had young children, all of us had husbands who said, 'another meeting, youíve got to be kidding?' Those meetings lasted until the wee hours of morning. We were all busy with other things. Once we knew the steps, it was like quicksand. Every time you thought you had a handle on this piece, there was another piece.
- Chani Friedman


How to Cite This Page
For a bibliography: Jewish Women's Archive. "Jewish Women's Archive - Women Who Dared - SHALVA (Safe Homes Advice and Legal Aid for Victims of Abuse) on PATH TO ACTIVISM." <http://jwa.org/exhibits/wwd/jsp/fullAnswer.jsp>.

For a footnote: Jewish Women's Archive, "Jewish Women's Archive - Women Who Dared - SHALVA (Safe Homes Advice and Legal Aid for Victims of Abuse) on PATH TO ACTIVISM," <http://jwa.org/exhibits/wwd/jsp/fullAnswer.jsp>.